Spirit

Encouragement from the Scriptures necessary for spiritual wellness.

Day 4: Self Care: Not So Easy

by ladypbwiggins

Self Care. That’s what I was told I needed to do. But just like a doctor telling a patient to eat right without an eating plan or what eating right looks like, telling me I needed to self care without offering a plan or what it should look like. I know the admonishments were for my good and they meant well but sometimes you just can’t get a handle on what you are suppose to do to correct your situation. My eldest gave me a massage treatment gift and it was wonderful. If my budget allows I may make it a monthly or bi-monthly thing. That alone is just a bandaid. To alleviate the source of my issues more must be done. I am returning to our raw eating plan, at least 90%. I made scheduling my day to get at least 6 hours of restful sleep. I am taking breaks after each major activity. I am EXERCISING. All of these are necessary for my self care. Yet, I haven’t figured out how to relieve the stress. It’s as if the release valve on my pressure cooker is stuck and releases the pressure too slow. The main source of my stress is not going away so I have to find a way to unstick the valve.

I am told self care means making yourself a priority. I get that but how do you accomplish that when something else has a higher priority , time wise, over the course of the day and you are exhausted at the end of the day. There is little energy left for self care. I am trying to create a plan that takes care of my responsibilities and place myself high on the list as well. It is not as easy as it sounds. I trust God to guide me.

After I finished the with the tags, the two thought came to me, that self care was doing what makes you feel good in addition to all the above stated healthy things. The other was self care stems from self love.What makes me feel good? What gives me the most joy? What could I do all day and enjoy even after I get tired? Thanks Lord. How do I weave it into my day? I have always struggled with loving myself. Or at least showing love to myself in a tangible way. This is the war I have to win. It is time. The struggle has gone on too long. Silence the negative voices in my head and replace them with the few positive thing said. Most of all replace them with the two most powerful voices in my life. Mine and the Lord’s. He said a lot of positive things about me. I am the negative one. I have to come to agreement with God. I embrace me. I have said this before but now is the time I need to stick with it until it manifest and the voices are silenced. This is the best care I can give to myself. Everything else will fall in line. Thanks Chef Babette for the inspiration.

Refined and Polished

by ladypbwiggins

Yesterday I celebrated my 70th birthday. Today is the beginning of my 71st year of life. Leading up to this time I had determined that it was time to re-invent myself. I planned to address my insecurities that are responsible for me living an impactless life. My plans have changed some what. Yesterday as part of my birthday celebration my baby daughter orchestrated a video presentation. She invited my family and people she knows have known me for a long time to express how I had impacted their life and to share a memory. I sat there listening to those who shared and thought I didn’t know they felt like that. I was just being me. Some cited incidents that they felt showed my strength. I felt they just seemed to me in trouble and caused people to dislike me. i really thought I was just tolerated because I was attached to Carl. I thought who are they talking about. They believe that I am strong. One even said I was fierce. I had been shot down and stomped on so often that I felt like there really was no reason that I should be using up the space and air others could have benefited from. To some extent this attitude caused me to deny myself of things I wanted or the quality of things I did get.

My friends and family have a different opinion of me. For that I am grateful and thankful. I awoke this morning realizing I like their view, their perspective. I have purposed to see myself through their eyes, I have decided not to re-invent myself. Apparently the core of who they see is who I wanted to be. Therefore I will leave the essence of who I am unchanged. I an asking for Yaweh’s help to refine that which needs refining and polish that which needs to shine brighter.

I am renewing my thinking about myself . I purpose to give myself the same grace and compassion that I give others. I give my best to others and now I purpose to give it to myself. I am moving myself up on my list . Oh, don’t worry. I am not going to become haughty and self-centered. I’m just going to treat myself better. I know this is not going to be something that happens overnite but I am beginning.

This post is my first step. Now you all know and those near and dear will hold me accountable, Second step is to become more consistent with my Bible study. Thirdly, I will wear more of what I like. People have seen glimpses of my style but not on a consistent level or the quality that I really like. I spent the money on my kids and my husband. They were in the public eye more than I. Really, who neede to dress up to clean bathrooms. 😀 The kids are grown and hubby is no longer Pastor Carl and community activist. I am making it my turn now. Not making do any more. I’ve wanted to sew, so sew I will. Before the pandemic I had lost weight and was wearing clothes that I loved. I had replaced the fat clothes. Over this last year of isolation, I have regained the weight. Food was my only physical comfort. I will eliminate the vegan fast food and return to the healthier versions. I will lose the weight again but I will dress the fat body well in the mean time. Not waiting.

Let the refining and polishing begin. 70 is the new 40.

The Universe….?

by ladypbwiggins

When people say the Universe will do it or The Universe caused it or any other action ascribed to the Universe, who or what are they talking about? I checked the definition of the Universe. What I found was what I understood it to be.

The universe (Latin: universus) is all of space and time and their contents, including planets, stars, galaxies, and all other forms of matter and energy. … At the largest scale, galaxies are distributed uniformly and the same in all directions, meaning that the universe has neither an edge nor a center.

So are the people who attribute these supernatural actions to the Universe saying the planets, stars or galaxies are performing these acts? Do inanimate objects have the capacity to think, plan and act? Or are the planets etc animate? Can they create life?Do the planets have this power? Have space and time and all its contents given us the capacity to think, love or feel? I just dont understand. Can someone help me understand?

As I looked at the different definition sources I saw that someone asked the question “Who created the Universe?” The answer that was given was one word, God. I have observed many of those giving the aforementioned attributions to the Universe do not believe in God or they believe there is a Supreme creator but not any God of any known religion. For those who don’t believe in God, they have given God-like abilities or attributes to the Universe. Is the Universe God to them? I’m confused. It seems some God-like something that is beyond or outside of themselves is needed. Something that satisfies an innate spiritual hole. It seems the creation is acknowledged or accepted but the creator (God) is denied. In my logical mind this is totally illogical. Will someone help me please?

I know someone is asking how do you know there is a God. Who created Him and how do you know He is a He? My answer is how do you know the Universe did it, or said it or gave it? Whether it is Jehovah, Yeshua, Allah or any other named diety, there is some belief system that can be held on to and reasoned. Like many liberal arts college students, I analyzed these belief systems. I asked questions and looked at the documents that described or explained their foundation. I almost converted to Judaism. I liked that their beliefs were lived daily and not just on Sunday or special days. It was a lifestyle. Eventually I remainded with my Judeo-Christian belief system. I realized I could have what I loved in Judaism with the less legalistic stance of 1st Century Christianity. I won’t go into the reasons but I am happy with my decision. It is now my lifetyle. FYI this is not the Western European version of Christianity that we see today.

Back to the Universe. I am seriously asking for understanding not a fight.

Contagious

by ladypbwiggins

44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, Matthew 5:44 NKJV https://bible.com/bible/114/mat.5.44.NKJV

I have come to realize this is what I have been learning for the last 5 years. Inspite of their behavior, I must act like Yeshua. There are people who have told me that I am not a Christian or a real American because I don’t support Trump. I have been called names, basically cursed bcause I am not a Republican. They don’t know if I am a Democrat, Independent or Undeclared but because of how I look they have decided. How do I bless them?

This is one of the hardest things I have had to learn. Just like most other people I don’t partiularly want to show love much less acually love those who hurt me or threathen me. How do I love KKK members knowing what their stance is toward people who look like me? How do I love people who are determined to destroy me psychologically and emotionally? How do I love policemen who are inclined to kill my son and daughter just becasue of their skin color? Then there are my grandsons. Some are old enough to be targets just because they walked out of their house. One is a former marine. He was willing to give his life for a group of people who have decided he is a criminal just because of his skin color. This is one of my realities. Then there are those I have trusted. They said they loved me and as long as I agreed with them or did what they wanted they acted like it. But as soon as I stepped out of my place as they defined it, I was no longer loveable. I was the enemy. I want to follow Yeshua’s teachings to love my enemies but it is so hard.

I thought I had forgiven and gotten over the hurt from the ones I trusted but looking at myself through the lens of loving my enemies, it seems I haven’t. I don’t hate them but I discovered resentment and hurt are still present to some degree. How can I truly love them if those feelings are present. I believe pure love would not be resentful and would have forgiven. Remembrance would not have hurt attached. How can I love those who admit that they hate me when I can’t completely love those who have committd comparably lesser offenses? Lastly, how do I pray for those who spitefully use me?

I have a ways to go. This growing in the image of God is a neverending, involved process. I know I haven’t grown to say Father forgive them as they nail railroad spikes in my hands but maybe I can love them through hateful words and degrading actions. I am trying.

How are you handling this commandment?

Can you pray for them?

Can you do good to them?

Can you forgive them?

Can you LOVE them?

A Quiet Love Celebration

by ladypbwiggins

I was reminded today of the depth of love I have for my husband. Sometimes fatigue and a feeling of helplessness makes you impatient. Consistent rest is not something I get often. But this last week has been especially tiring. The last two nights 4 hours combined. But it was Christmas. This morning the emergency room became my Christmas celebration venue. Once I was there I forgot how tired I was. My husband’s care became my focus. Sitting in his emergency room watching him fluctuate between sleep and sharp pain, pierced my heart. Love overwhelmed me. He said this is the best party. You are together.

Love conquers all.

We usually think of wrongdoing but this time it conquered fatigue. I was ready for battle with the medical system which is sometime unreasonable. I was ready but it was not necessary. I guess that was my Christmas present.

Love was present. Love allowed me to be blessed and to be a blessing to some of the staff. Most of all, love sustained me. Love used the arms of my children and church family to hold me.

Now I am resting in love’s arms completely at peace. I miss my husband though not worried.

Thank you love for your birth, your life, your resurrection.

I had a very blessed Christmas Celebration.

New Levitical Insight

by ladypbwiggins

Not Just a Sacrifice

All those dead animals over and over again. How many times will that list be repeated? It’s the same no matter which offering. That’s what I thought. I was so wrong. There was a greater significance. I believe it is more than a sacrifice for sin. Recently I completed a study on covenant; Covenant from God’s perspective. It is through this lens I have reread Leviticus.

This began with a study of the minor prophets. It became clear that I wasn’t sure specifically which of God’s laws Israel had violated in each prophets case. I decided to take a deep breath and jump into Leviticus. I was determined to struggle through the descriptions of the animals being sacrificed. My mind began to see through the lens of covenant, that God had given the Israelites a method to renew the covenant with Him that they had broken. When Moses presented the Law to them they agreed to do all that God commanded. God knew that however pure their intent, they would fail. Their merciful God gave them a way to repair the relationship and keep covenant with Him.

So when you read Leviticus, see each animal that is laid on the altar before God, not only as a sacrifice. Don’t see it as a fulfillment of a command only. See God’s mercy. See His love for people. See His desire to keep His promises that are based on their obedience or keeping their end of the covenant.

It amplifies even more the sacrifice Yeshua made for me. I am given a way to remain in covenant relationship with God because He knows my frailties and He extends mercy to me. He has loves me and desires to keep His promises that are based on my obedience.

More than a sacrifice!

Did I Miss The Point

by ladypbwiggins

Dr. James Cleveland penned a song many years ago based on an event recorded in the gospels of Mark, Matthew and Luke. I think we are most familiar with Mark’s account because it gives more information. In Mark 4:35-41 we are told of Yeshua asleep on a boat with his disciples when a storm arose. The boat seemed in inevitable danger of being destroyed along with all aboard. Yet Yeshua slept. The disciples freaked out. How can he lie there asleep when we are going to die?

The disciples went to Him and woke Him up saying don’t you care that we are about to die. Implied was a cry for Him to Do something. So He got up and said to the winds and the waves, Peace. Be Still. He then looked at them and said “Why are you fearful. How is it that you have no faith?”

All my life the emphasis in hearing teaching and preaching on this text has been on Peace. Be Still. But I think we missed the most important lesson. Yeshua was in the boat. They had seen miracles performed by him. They had seen people healed, demons cast out but they still did not understand who He was. However, they knew if He were awake He could do something. The lesson I believe we missed is, He was in the boat. He did not have to be physically awake. The winds and waves knew their master and the mere fact that He was in the boat protected the passengers in the boat. If the boat capsized, He was there to save them. So the storm did not matter.

Protected because Yeshua was in the boat. Is He in my boat? Is He in your boat? If He is, do I have the faith to believe nothing is going to happen to me that He doesn’t allow and that He hasn’t prepared me for? Do I have the faith to be at PEACE in the storm? Can I BE STILL even if the storm doesn’t?

“Better” Micro-Living

by ladypbwiggins

To begin my “Better” I completed several chores from my To Do list. You know those  nuisance things that keep getting placed on the low priority list. I also began organizing my projects. I am determined to enjoy my life inspite of the environment I live in. There are hobbies I enjoy that have been put on hold. They are released in my “Better.” My macro-environment has become toxic. So I will make the micro- as healthy as possible. First I asked myself what would my environment look like if there was no Covid 19 or weekly  unnecessary deaths or increased anger and hatred? What would it be like if it wasn’t a presidential election year? Is it possible to create this space and yet remain aware of the happenings. Knowing what’s going on is very stressful.  But we have to know to make wise decisions.

I have been given the ability to disassociate emotionally after I have been hurt by someone I trusted. I call it a gift because I can remain in a decent relationship with them without the concern of being hurt again. I don’t hold grudges and I don’t remain angry.   I have to figure out how to mentally disassociate and still remain aware.

Jehovah God’s got this. I believe by faith I am his child. If I believe those two things my shield of faith can be enlarged to protect me from the darts of all this madness.

Yep. That’s the ticket. Now to begin the process. Yes it is a process. Just can’t flip a switch. My goal is to be in the know without the stress. I’m entering my “Better.”

Trying To Lift Without Leverage

by ladypbwiggins

A few minutes ago I was trying to help lift my husband from a very soft sofa. For those who know us know that is no easy feat. He is 6’7″ at 240lbs and I am 5’4″ and we want talk about the other 😂. We have a system and he wasn’t using it. He removed my leverage. Once we got back on the same page I was able to help him stand.

I began thinking about this principal’s application in other areas of my life, our lives. No matter how hard we try we can not be lifted nor can we lift anyone else without proper leverage. There are different leverages:money, knowledge, physical strength, strategy and the Word and Spirit of God.

For those of us who are believers of the teachings of Yeshua, I believe we have the ultimate, the maximum leverage. The power promised to us is our leverage. This power is based and saturated in love but it should be handled with care. It is as explosive as nitroglycerin.

Let’s learn to use this powerful leverage with knowledge and wisdom, compassion, empathy and love. Not just for fellow believers but for those who don’t believe His teachings; for those who hate us; for those who live by different lifestyles or rules. This leverage does not give us the right or responsibility to condemn those that may have a different belief system. Yeshua said to share His teachings and love and He would draw all to Himself.

With this leverage we can lift many and ourselves to higher heights.

Limited Vision

by ladypbwiggins


The valley view from the mountaintop is far different from the view while you’re still in the valley. From the mountaintop, you can see the forest and streams, birds, green valleys, deserts, all in a sweeping survey of the land. You see all the possibilities that the valley offers. From the valley you only see what is before you. From the valley you also see the height of the mountains and the freedom it seems to offer from the problems of the valley.  How you long for the mountaintop. Is that assumption real?

What is God’s view of the valley from His position? He is surely on the mountaintop. I believe He sees possibilities not problems. I believe He sees the fertility provided by the waters and springs that run down from the mountain; These streams gathering minerals, and being cleaned of impurities as they rush across the rocks.  When the waters finally reach the valley, they are fresh and pure for the use of the valley inhabitants. The nutrients brought from the mountain fertilize every parcel of land it flows through that is below it and comes to rest in the ponds, rivers, lakes and streams and rivers on the the valley floor. Is the valley a place of restoration and healing or a place of pain and destruction?

While in the valley, I have access to fertile, productive possibilities as well as the problems of the desert. When I say desert I mean dry, unfertile places. While suffering the pain, I have access to healing and restoration. The One that sits on high sends down everything that I need to lead a peaceful, enriched, safe life in His living waters. If only I could keep His view of the valley and not mine. In His Natural all things are supplied for me. I just can’t see them. My view is limited. I only see what is before me and what my limited experience dictates. I can’t see all the possibilities that He sees. 

How then do I see as He sees? I let Him see and then tell me.  That requires a keener ear and unlimited, unbounded trust in Him, i.e. A much tighter relationship than I have now.  If I am able to move me out of the way then I can see with mountaintop vision while standing in the valley.  I can know the paths that lead to green pastures and calm, restoring waters as I walk through the deserts.

Excerpt from my book that’s in progress.