Intentionally My Time!

by ladypbwiggins

It’s amazing how a health scare will bring your life choices into perspective. You would think with all that we have been through with Carl’s health issues this would be something I would have done before. But it was his health that was the focus. Everything that was done was done to improve his health and any benefit I received was tangential. Recently I had a scare. Blood vessels in my eye bled and filled the viscous fluid with blood. It also formed a blob that is still present but seems to be diminishing. I hope it is not wishful thinking. A vitrectomy was performed to remove the fluid and replace it. I have limited vision in my left eye because of the blob. What other damage may have been done is unknown at this time. More assessments will be done soon. So what caused this? I thought it was caused by a reaction to some medication that I was taken for polyneuropathy in my feet. No I am not diabetic. I did have other reactions to that drug but it did not cause the bleeding. I discovered on the day of the procedure that I had been living in a hypertensive crisis state. That is stroke or death level. My blood pressure was so high they couldn’t perform the surgery. The surgery was delayed to get that under controlled. In the mean time I had to live with the thought of possibly losing my sight in that eye. Getting proper medication to accommodate the surgery was an adventure in itself. The first medication interfered with the anesthesia so I had to quickly get it changed so my pressure would be down in time. The meds that worked made me sick so after the surgery I went back to the first one. All that time I thought I was just extremely tired. I knew I needed rest but the blood pressure made it critical.

The Change

My son asked a question of me today that made me really think about my level of self care. He said mom why are you so intent on worrying if I’m comfortable. I told you I was fine. Is it because you are insecure? The truth is deep down inside I have always felt I was not worth it. Everyone else was more important. Looking back on my life I realize I have given all my energy to taking care of someone else. It’s not a bad thing, It’s just a “didn’t prioritize me” thing. I gave me the leftover energy and usually there wasn’t very much left. I don’t regret giving myself to others. I just regret I didn’t take care of me at the same level.

So what am I going to do about it. My daughters, especially the youngest has been preaching the mom you are worth it sermom for a while now. I had intention to change my self care but I guess I needed this to kick me into gear. I am going to be selfish. Some say I already am but they don’t really know me. I am going to be intentional about the choices for my own health and well-being.

Several years ago we changed our dietary lifestyle for Carl’s health. We have slacked a little but now there will be intentional focus for my health. I hate taking pills and I refuse to be on blood pressure medication the rest of my life. I will be under a doctor’s care, so don’t freak out. I know blood pressure can be regulated with food. Dr. Montgomery, Carl’s cardiologist will now be mine. I am going to him to check my heart. I want to be sure that hypertensuve state didn’t damage my heart. I will rely on him to help me wean off the blood pressure meds. I have alreay begun PRP therapy for my back. It seems my spine is in bad condition. I will resume the hobbies I put on hold for my mental health. This is my intentional beginning.

My vision is blurring now so I will end with this.

Don’t wait for something dangerous to happen to get you to accept your worth. Take care of yourself.

MY TIME INTENTIONALLY!

That Is The Question!

by ladypbwiggins

To cook or not to cook? For a period of time we were raw vegan and then slowly began adding cooked vegan meals. Today I created a jackfruit mixture that could be eaten raw or cooked I discovered. I combined jackfruit, mushrooms, sunflower seeds, Bragg’s amino, a few drops of liquid smoke, Kirkland’s no salt seasonings in the food processor and pulsed to blend. I set it aside to let the flavors soak in. Then it hit me. I planned to cook it but it taste so good uncooked. What should I do?

I thought of lettuce wraps. Then I noticed my spaghetti squash sitting on the counter. I need to cook it before it goes bad. Or zuchinni noodles? Hmm. And they say vegans have limited choices. Just the opposite. Soooo many choices as varied as the plant kingdom itself. I have made my decision.

The winner is ….. spaghetti squash, I lightly toasted the jackfruit mixture and spooned it over a bed of spaghetti squash. I added a few slices of avocado and dinner was on.

I have also made another discovery. I have found a mixture whose texture I really like that can be used for other dishes by changing the seasonings: Taco filling by adding mexican seasonings, spaghetti sauce by adding italian seasonings and who knows how far I can take it.

Stroganof Inspired

by ladypbwiggins

Today I was looking through my #Healthy Mind Cookbook and noticed several strogonof recipes. I am not a big creamy sauce person but the thought of using nondairy cream intrigued me. I used sweet peppers from my garden, a red onion for a little bite,fresh chopped garlic, fresh purple basil with its flowers from my plants, cumin, dried oregano, dried dill sauteed in avocado oil. Then I added shitake mushroom and enough flax milk to cover. Salted to taste with Celtic Sea Salt. Simmered until mushrooms were tender.

Strogonof Sauce Inspired

I poured thos over a baked potato. It was quite tasty. I might be getting good at this vegan cooking thing 😄😄😄

Chickpea & Mushroom Burger or Not

by ladypbwiggins

Took a break from jackfruit to use my baby portabella mushrooms before they went bad. Trying to change the mushroom lose paradigm. I chopped the chickpeas and mushrooms together in the food processor. I added some leftover cooked oatmeal from breakfast to aid in binding. I used onion powder instead of fresh onions because I am trying to determine the source of a bitter taste in my veggie burgers. It was suggested by another vegan to soak the fresh onions before using but it didn’t help. I added my spices and herbs. It was a little too moist so I added some rolled oats. I set the mixture aside while I made jackfruit dinner. 😄. After dinner I decided to wait until the next day to cook the burgers. I put the mixture in a glass container. I noticed it looked like a meatloaf so I thought, why not? The next day I cooked the”meatloaf”. Dinner became black-eyed peas, mixed veggies and meatless meatloaf. Burgers will have to wait.

I am not adding a measured recipe because I didn’t measure. This was totally a “my senses determined how much and what” kind of dish. The flavors were correct but the texture was a little dry. It will definitely be tried again with a little more scientific precision 😄.

Ugh Those Brown Bananas

by ladypbwiggins

I think everyone, at least vegans, have experienced those too ripe bananas that just look terrible and a breath away from the banana graveyard. I keep telling myself that I’m going to make banana bread before it’s too late. I have never made. Today I did. I searched the internet for a vegan recipe and I found quite a few. I then had to narrow it down to those who matched the ingredients I had in the pantry. I landed on Nora Cook’s recipe. Of course I didn’t have everything required. I don’t use all purpose flour. Subtitue number 1. I didn’t feel like softening up my brown sugar. Substitute number 2. I had ground so much today that I didn’t feel like grinding flax seeds to make the flax egg. Subtitute number 3. Had no almond milk. Substitute 4.

The resulting recipe: 2 cups of buckwheat flour, 2 TBLs chia seeds, 12 Tbls Water to make chia eggs. Add more water if needed to get an egg like texture. 1/4 cup flax milk, 1/3 cup melted vegan butter, 1/2 cup Agave nectar, 1 tsp Baking soda, 1/2 tsp salt, walnuts. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour.

Jackfruit Tacos

by ladypbwiggins

Yes I’m on a jackfruit journey. As I mentioned in my last post I discovered an authenic vegan Mexican restaurant in my neighborhood, #VEEGOS. They are my motivation. I decided to try making taco meat from jackfruit. I use young jackfruit packed in water. The only preservatives are lime juice and sea salt. That gives it a salty taste. For those who want to minimize or eliminate that, I suggest rinsing the jackfruit. I haven’t tried it but I think it would work.

I also decided to make my own Mexican spice mix. I did not add salt because of the saltiness of the jackfruit. My mix was cumin, chili powder, smoked paprika, and oregano. I put the jackfruit in the food processor with the mix. Just a note. I was out of chili powder so I ground some chili pepper flakes. While that was marinating I made some pico de gallo. I had no salsa. I used the chili pepper flakes in the mix so I skipped the jalapenos in my pico. Hey use what you got. I used roma tomatoes, green onions (white and green parts), parsley and a pinch of salt. I must say here thank God for food processors. I could have chopped all of this including the jackfruit but the processor made it so easy and quick.

When we were ready to eat, I took the jackfruit mixture out of the fridge and tasted it. Hmm it was good. It could have been eaten raw on a romaine leaf wrap but I added more cumin and it gave it a slightly bitter taste, I added some olive oil and cooked it in a nonstick skillet just like I would have used ground beef or ground turkey. I lightly fried my tortilla shells. I placed grated vegan mozzarella and cheddar cheese, the jackfruit and the pico de gallo on the tortillas. We enjoyed a very good late lunch.

Jackfruit Tacos

I told you VEEGOS was my motivation but it wasn’t just because of the jackfruit. I wanted their nachos. They are loaded and very good. I was all set to go and get them when I realized today is Monday. They are closed on Monday. As a result I made jackfruit tacos. So glad I did. Now I have a raw and cooked option. Give it a try.

Is It Tuna Salad Or Not?

by ladypbwiggins

Many vegans wonder why whould you want to eat something that imitates meat. Well when you have spent your whole life experiencing meat based food, the desire for those flavors and textures don’t go away immediately if at all. We are vegans for a variety of reasons. I wanted to improve our health initially and then my husband had a heart attack. His cardiologist prescribed a raw vegan lifestyle change. However, I did not lose my desire for certain flavors and foods One of those was tuna salad sandwiches or tuna and crackers. Until now I had not tried to make a substitute. All of the substitutes were carrot based mixtures that tasted nothing like tuna or at least remind me of seafood. My motivation for trying to create something now is my new found relationship with young jack fruit.

I must digress for a moment. The first time I tried jack fruit it was in a prepared barbeque meat substitute from the grocery store. I hated it. It was too sweet and it turned me off. Recently I discovered Veegos Authentic Mexican vegan restaurant. One of the protein selections was jack fruit. I loved it.. A customer told me how to get the same product at home. First, you must buy young jack fruit canned in water or brine. I use the packed in water. This product has not ripened so it has no flavor. That makes it perfect for absorbing the flavors of the marinade or seasonings. Back to the not tuna.

I did my research to discover the best things to use to get that seafood flavor. I have used dulse and hijiki seaweed before but it didn’t give me what I was looking for although it did add that seawater taste.What brought it home was Old Bay seasoning. I made my not tuna salad with young jack fruit, cooked pureed chickpeas, celery, dulse, hijiki seaweed, onion powder, garlic powder, It was a success. I served it on a vegetable salad. It was a good dinner. I planned to try it again with rehydrated chickpeas or another fresh bean product to make it a raw meal.

Observe, Ask, Listen!

by ladypbwiggins

I am a girl. I am a female. I am 100% woman. Societal stereotypes say there are certain things you are safe buying or doing for me because am a woman. What color is do people buy baby girls? Pink. Why can’t she have blue? What color are clothes bought for little girls? Pink. Why not green? As the little girl grows she may tell you what she likes but if she isn’t asked it will be assumed it’s pink. It doesn’t change much when she grows up. When a man doesn’t know his woman’s favorite color, pink is assumed to be safe. This is simply because she is female. Now layer my ethnic culture on that. Just because I am Black there are certain things that I absolutely prefer according to the stereotypes. Women don’t all like the same thing and no one thing clearly describe us. If that were so, the clothing, jewelry, cosmetic, hair and shoe industries would not exist. Understanding what I am about to say is crucial for some relationships. It is believed women are difficult to understand. We are not. There is a very simple method to understand us. Obseve and Ask.

So to those who have not understood, I will use me as an example. I don’t prefer pink or diamonds. I don’t like pastels. I am a bold color concentrated person. But I don’t prefer the bold winter colors. I prefer the fall colors found in nature. The stereotype would have me in ruffles. You know, frilly, girly stuff. I like clean lines and texture. When I drank liquor, I was a scotch, dry martini person. My sweetest drink was a margarita. My husband knew all these things before we were married. In the course of us developing a friendship he observed, asked and listened. When it became important to know he did. He could even choose clothes and jewelry for me with a high degree of certainty that I would like them.

I guess you’re asking “why is she telling us all this?” For those who didn’t get the memo, we are not all the same. Allow us to be collectively individual. We have individual taste. Yes there may be similarities but we have some differences. Give us room and stop trying to put us in your box. If you’re not sure what your woman likes, ASK! Then listen.There will be fewer misunderstandings. That has worked for my husband for 44 years. Oh and just so you know, if you are in a relationship or trying to develop one, don’t assume this woman likes something just because the last one did. Observe and ASK! Listen! Don’t ask the day before her birthday or your anniversary. Pay attention when your just having conversation and get those questions in there if she’s important to you. She will appreciate your wanting to know.

Remember Observe and Ask. Listen. Don’t Assume.

The Universe….?

by ladypbwiggins

When people say the Universe will do it or The Universe caused it or any other action ascribed to the Universe, who or what are they talking about? I checked the definition of the Universe. What I found was what I understood it to be.

The universe (Latin: universus) is all of space and time and their contents, including planets, stars, galaxies, and all other forms of matter and energy. … At the largest scale, galaxies are distributed uniformly and the same in all directions, meaning that the universe has neither an edge nor a center.

So are the people who attribute these supernatural actions to the Universe saying the planets, stars or galaxies are performing these acts? Do inanimate objects have the capacity to think, plan and act? Or are the planets etc animate? Can they create life?Do the planets have this power? Have space and time and all its contents given us the capacity to think, love or feel? I just dont understand. Can someone help me understand?

As I looked at the different definition sources I saw that someone asked the question “Who created the Universe?” The answer that was given was one word, God. I have observed many of those giving the aforementioned attributions to the Universe do not believe in God or they believe there is a Supreme creator but not any God of any known religion. For those who don’t believe in God, they have given God-like abilities or attributes to the Universe. Is the Universe God to them? I’m confused. It seems some God-like something that is beyond or outside of themselves is needed. Something that satisfies an innate spiritual hole. It seems the creation is acknowledged or accepted but the creator (God) is denied. In my logical mind this is totally illogical. Will someone help me please?

I know someone is asking how do you know there is a God. Who created Him and how do you know He is a He? My answer is how do you know the Universe did it, or said it or gave it? Whether it is Jehovah, Yeshua, Allah or any other named diety, there is some belief system that can be held on to and reasoned. Like many liberal arts college students, I analyzed these belief systems. I asked questions and looked at the documents that described or explained their foundation. I almost converted to Judaism. I liked that their beliefs were lived daily and not just on Sunday or special days. It was a lifestyle. Eventually I remainded with my Judeo-Christian belief system. I realized I could have what I loved in Judaism with the less legalistic stance of 1st Century Christianity. I won’t go into the reasons but I am happy with my decision. It is now my lifetyle. FYI this is not the Western European version of Christianity that we see today.

Back to the Universe. I am seriously asking for understanding not a fight.

Beginning Anew Again

by ladypbwiggins

Over our 44 years of marriage we have started over several times. We changed avocations, we’ve made geographic changes and we have made dietary lifestyle changes. All of these changes caused something to begin again; Start over. In the last 3 years we have moved to a new state, moved back into apartment living and become vegans.

I am the primary caregiver for my husband. At one point I became physically challenged myself. People told me I looked and sounded tired. I couldn’t see it. When you do what you have to do you don’t think about it. I had chest pains and went to the hospital. All my test were normal. Thankfully it was just stress and I had an overnight stay and rest. That’s when I realized how tired I was. Everyone said rest but figuring out how to rest created more stress. And then Covid 19 dilema arrived. I didn’t get the virus but months of isolation caused depression to sneak in. Just what I needed, a mental health issue. Another thing to battle. I was getting a handle on that and then the Houston deep freeze. Thirty-six hours of no power and below freezing temperature just added to the stress. We stayed in bed for 30+ hours. I only arose to prepare food. Good thing we knew how to eat raw vegan. Oh yeah and to use the bathroom. You would think that was a good time to get some rest but it wasn’t. We were fully dressed in sweats and beanies under several heavy blankets. I felt buried alive but it was necessary. We were still cold. One night it was 9 degrees outside and it felt like all of that inside. So tell me how do you rest from that. I feel like I aged over this last year. My body hurt in places it hasn’t before. Recovery made it very clear that our 2nd floor living must come to an end.

The search began for a first floor, one level home. Change One. Change Two. During the pandemic I gained weight. I miss my size 12 and I plan to begin our dominantly raw vegan lifestyle again. At least that’s the plan. I know many aches and pains will be diminished or eliminated. I will see my size 12 again this year. Change Three. I am resuming my hobbies because I need the outlet. I had put them aside for a while but I have to begin again.

Back to Change One. We moved into that 1st floor home. Love it but it is taking longer to unpact because my bosy is still recovering. Change Two is proving more difficult than I thought. We are eating raw sometimes but the consistency is proving to be hard. Hence, I don’t know when I will see my size 12 but at least I haven’t gained more. Hobbies are still on hold.

Still beginning again but still moving forward. We have begun again and it is exciting. Always new. Beginning again brings new and exciting experiences.

Well, here I am two months after the move. I have spent the time trying to get adjusted: unpacking and organizing. I have not completely gone raw vegan or begun my hobbies but I am moving in that direction. My mental health has improved thanks to my kids and grandkids. They have blessed us immeasureably. I have so much for which to be thankful. So inspite of quarantine, deep freeze and body pain beginning again has been a blessing.