The Head Cold Trip
Snifflin’, sneezin’ away the day
Coughin’ and tearin’ that’s the way
My head cold is rulin’
Stop it.
Stop it I say.
You can’t ruin my night like you have ruined my day.
Here are other thoughts. Curious what you think it means.
The Journey, Maybe
Why do the pretty people in the park
Paint poison pictures reflecting my pain?
Do they know?
Speeding down the expressway of sorrow
Seeing sights of sparkling shadows
How fallacious is it all?
"Black Soil" Living 
I like the first one a lot. I think it would be stronger if you joined the stop it lines into a single line.
LikeLike
Thanks for the feedback. Much appreciated.
LikeLike
The Head Cold Trip – would be a metaphor of any adverse situation because it’s a HEAD TRIP signaling it is a thought or attitude in the mind. The subject is utilizing the power of suggestion to control his/her life. (End)
The Journey, Maybe – seems to me it is a person expressing their low self esteem. They see beauty in the face of other, which that are slightly inferior in comparison. The person wonder why they don’t know beauty is just a fallacy. (End)
However, ten more people may read it ten more different ways. Therefore, don’t be influenced or effected by anyones opinion other than your own. I like both poems.
LikeLike
Interesting take on the second one. You are too deep for me on the first one. It just describes hoe I am feeling with this cold. But I love. Now I know I must be deep too. Lolol
LikeLike
Loved all the p’s in poison,pretty park wonderful story Thank you nice blog…
LikeLike
Thank you kneal1
LikeLiked by 1 person