Mind

Mental wellness thoughts

Dark Chocolate!

by ladypbwiggins

Dark Chocolate,

Nappy Hair,

They pay big bucks to get what YOU got.

Yet you are made fun of even by your own

and Denied access to the best.

Why do we accept the “Paper bag” test?

Why do you have to prove yourself worthy more than the rest?

It is interesting that

The dark piece anchors the quilt design

The dark one draws the eye in a picture or a chorus line.

The rarest of gems are black or darkest in hue.

Consider the black diamond, black opal, chocolate diamond,

the deepest ruby and sapphire.

Oh, how precious and rare, just like you.

Even in food

The darker the color the richer and more beneficial

You know that green, red, yellow veggie or fruit.

Could it be that you are so maligned because

You are Intensely Richer.

You are More Beneficial.

You are Visually Overwhelming,

 Powerfully Stunning,

You are Stronger

You are More Precious, Priceless?

It is recorded that Dark Chocolate is good for anti-aging.

Could that be why black don’t crack?

DARK CHOCOLATE, NAPPY HAIR

You got it going on!

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!

My Defiant Brain!

by ladypbwiggins

I haven’t posted in days because I have been overwhelmed with life again.I don’t know what is worse; Getting behind and playing catch up or trying to stay current. Needless to say I am in the catch up situation on all fronts. In the last few months I could only focus on my husband, his needs and the lessons learned in this process.

I have had so many thoughts that I wanted to share lately that my brain scream NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! when I tried to sort them out. I feel a short circuit do to circuit overload coming on.I hope a night or two of sleep will allow me to begin this mental sorting. In the mean time, I will just sort paperwork that needs to be done and filed.

AWWWWW! that’s painful too. Do you feel me?

It Would Be So Easy

by ladypbwiggins

It would be so easy to hate the shooter in the Charleston Church.

Nine dead for no obvious reason but hatred.

It would be so easy to hate the system and environment that bred that hatred.

It would  be so easy to travel back in time to slavery in the Carolinas and

Hate all slave owners, slave brokers and the good people who said nothing.

It would be so easy to blame his parents and

Hate them.

It would be so easy!

But rather I choose to do the HARD thing.

I choose to pray for the hearts and minds of the victims’ families

That they forgive the shooter in the midst of their grief.

I choose to pray for change in the shooter’s mind.

Living life abundantly, securely not fearfully for others.

I choose to forgive the system that bred this hatred.

I choose to understand that they are not living free

But bound in the prison of hatred and they don’t know it.

I choose the HARD thing.

Otherwise, I will become bound in the chains of hate;

My words will shoot the bullets of anger and hatred.

I will become him.

I choose the Hard thing.

27  “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
28  bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 

Luke 6:27-28 (ESV) 

Because God Said So!

by ladypbwiggins

On March 26, 2015, my husband had a heart attack. While the paramedics worked to revive him, I prayed.

Lord, if it is his time, I don’t want him to suffer. If it is not, please heal him completely.

At that moment, he was revived and breathing on his own. God said it wasn’t his time. The scripture God gave me was Psalm 91.

It basically says, the one who sits down in the hiding place of the most High God shall stop and remain in the shade of protection that He provides. David, the writer, lists benefits of being in the shade of the Almighty. Conditions and the outcome of fulfilling those conditions are given. This is the part I felt was speaking of Carl.

Because he (Carl) has set his love on Me (God), I will deliver and protect Him.

When he calls me I will answer.

When he is in trouble I will rescue him and honor him

With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation (deliverance, victory and prosperity)

I was and am determined to believe if God allowed David to experience that, he was telling me that Carl would also. You may think I am crazy but I believe God. He Said So!

As the days went by I held on to that belief and accepted every small progress toward healing as confirmation and then he acquired pneumonia. I wasn’t shaken, it was just a delay. It turned out to be a long, intensely trying, delay.

On April 16 there was another cardiac attack. I watched as the team in ICU worked on him. I couldn’t believe all those people and machines got in that already filled room. The quickness and precision with which they moved was mind-blowing. It was a very organized, efficient, chaos. After he was revived, I sat wondering if I heard God wrong because this was not looking so good. Somewhere in there I realized Psalm 91 applied to me also. I asked God to clear up my confusion. The next day, Carl had another attack. I watched the team go into action. Suddenly the Code Blue light and alarm went off. One of the nurses said they were not needed. He had revived himself. They were amazed because they knew his heart was too weak to do that.

Many of you would say he was lucky. I say God answered my prayer. He showed me that he was doing a healing work in Carl and to trust him. To confirm this, one of my church sisters came to visit that Saturday and she read a scripture that she felt strongly was given to her regarding Carl. It was Psalm 41. Again a condition and a promise.

Psalm 41:1-3 (NKJV)
1  Blessed is he who considers the poor; The LORD will deliver him in time of trouble.
2  The LORD will preserve him and keep him alive, And he will be blessed on the earth; You will not deliver him to the will of his enemies.
3  The LORD will strengthen him on his bed of illness; You will sustain him on his sickbed

Carl slept. I fought a different kind of battle while he slept. I talked about it in The Battle post. I will just say here that it was hard and hard fought. However, I learned a lot. A day or so passed and I prayed another prayer. This time it was Lord, how long should I let him stay on these machines. He doesn’t want to live like this. Is he still with us and will he have a good quality of life after it is all over? All these things I cried out to God about because he promised to answer me. When I got to the hospital, Carl was sitting up, eyes wide open and smiling at the nurse. God answered.

So here we are, almost a month later, with him still on the ventilator but there is no arterial blockage. The doctors’ plan of attack is to make his heart strong enough to get a defibrilator implanted. My plan is to watch God restore his heart completely to newness. That was what I asked for in the first place, complete healing. I had another lesson to learn during all of this. It is not enough to see God work and believe while looking at your circumstance. Walking by faith in its purest state is not seeing the circumstance but seeing beyond it. Seeing only what God said regardless of what everything looks like around you. God defies our reasoning.

Has Carl been healed? Not according to the doctors. BUT… I see a perfectly pumping heart in the chest of the man I love and it is simply because

God said so!

I Lost Myself

by ladypbwiggins

I lost myself

Where did I go?

I lost myself.

So busy being strong

I LOST myself.

What did I do wrong?

I see me lurking

Out of the corner of my eyes.

My face so sad

Wanting to be vibrant again.

Wanting to be free to

Enjoy hobbies, ocean waves,

Beach walks, mountain hikes,

Or a day on the sewing machine.

I lost MY SELF.

I see me but

I seem so out of reach.

How do I discover me

Again?

Questionable Fruit Trees

by ladypbwiggins

We say what we are feeling. I hear you saying, “No, I don’t say what I am feeling because that would stir up a whole lot of trouble.” I beg to disagree. Your mouth may not say it but your face, your eyes, the twist of your mouth, and even the way you sit or stand says so much more. Have you ever listened to someone say all the right words but you didn’t believe anything they said. Sometimes it is because of your attitude but most times it is because you got the message that their body was sending.

While Yshua (Jesus) was teaching about our words condemning or justifying us, he made this statement.

“Either make the tree good, and the fruit good; or make the tree bad, and its fruit bad; the tree will be know by its fruit”

Usually we focus on the fruit but today the tree sat up and screamed, I am what’s important. If the tree is unhealthy, anything it produces is not profitable to anyone. You and I are the trees. If our insides are sick, filled with mean, unforgiving thoughts; if the growth and depth of our roots have been hindered by grudges and anger then no matter how nice we try to say it, the fruit we produce will be lacking in nourishment for ourselves or anyone around us. The messages we send verbally or bodily are the fruit our trees produce. A bad tree can produce something that looks like good fruit but when you bite into it you realize it is not good. That is much like the right sounding words we say but underneath them or embedded in them is all the rottenness housed inside us.

Let us let go of the anger, grudges, meanness, unforgiving evil thoughts.

Let the plant food of the Spirit and Word of God not be hindered in reaching the roots of our mind.

Let the leaves of your tree be green and full of life.

Let the shade your tree provides signal rest, refreshing, and peace.

Let the fruit from your tree bring nourishment: encouragement, compassion, truth, fairness and real love.

Let it be known that you are a good tree with good fruit.

Just in case you think I am excluding myself from these admonitions, know that they hit me first. I had to face myself in the mirror of these words.

You Left Me

by ladypbwiggins

You left me

You left a hole in my essence.

Grands tried to take your place.

They loved me.

Taught me.

Comforted me.

Where were you?

You left me.

The influence of your leaving

Powerful!

I didn’t know how much      Until

I madeall those stupid relationship decisions

Looking for you.

You left me.

I loved a man that I thought I would marry.

When he left me

The impact of your leaving grew greater.

That hole you made grew larger and colder.

Your leaving, his leaving had such a hold on me

That my whole being ached.

You left me.

That day I stood over you

And realized I did not know you

Just as you did not know me.

You lay in that casket a stranger.

Father, I realized you finally

LEFT ME,

FINALLY,

I Forgive You.

Trust -Mis-Trust – Acrostic

by ladypbwiggins

Trusted you with my heart

Relaxed in your presumed integrity

Understand I am not your victim

Surviving your betrayal has made me wiser and stronger

Trusting?

 

Mistake – Big Mistake

I made it when I believed you

Sharing my dreams

Telling the sacred secrets

Revealing the depths of my thoughts

Useless are you to me

So I place you in my emotional closet

Terminating our “so-called: friendship.

Has My Step Been Re-Sprung?

by ladypbwiggins

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Re-springing Your Step.”

I read the prompt and wondered what has happened to me recently that would have me rejuvenated. I realized that the answer was a lot of little thins for temporary changes but nothing lasting. That revelation was very disheartening. How can I motivate others when I am fatigued? I can’t successfully because they can see something is not 100% with me.

I have had taken a day here and a day there to rest physically. It helped to some extent I am sure. I can go on.  I awaken this morning feeling stressed out with the list of things I need to do NOW. The only solution I see is to make my list, prioritize and work the list.

Maybe then my step will get sprung. Physical rest is nothing without mental rest.

God’s Mental Health Plan

by ladypbwiggins

A few weeks ago I delivered the morning message at my church.  It was entitled “Think on These Things.” The scripture that I used was Philippians 4:6-9. 

Philippians 4:6-9 (ESV)
6  do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
7  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8  Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
9  What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.  

As I studied I realized a better title would have been God’ Mental Health Plan. Verse six begins, ” Be careful for nothing ..” More simply put it means 

                                         “Don’t Worry about Anything.” 

God said that if you would just talk with him, make your concerns known with an attitude of thanksgiving, then He would make you prosperous in all things concerning you and His peace and wholeness would be with you. Now before you get yourself all worked up, I am not talking about financial prosperity necessarily. According to Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance the word for “mind: translates to “of (from or concerning) you.” He will bring you prosperity in what you need to eliminate your anxiety or you will have the opportunity to learn to trust his Word will He changes your circumstances. 

Peace

What kind of peace surpasses understanding? Is it something so rarely experienced that I can’t picture it in my mind? Yes!! A resounding YES!! He promised that His peace would guard or protect your heart, (thoughts, feelings) and your mind, (all things concerning you).

How To Get This Peace

The answer lies in verses eight and nine. Think about good things. If it is true, just or fair, pure or clean, lovely, or commendable; if it reflects excellence and is worthy of compliments, then think about those things. Don’t cloud your mind up thinking about the negative things. Don’t worry about the gossip and the gossipers. Don’t give your adversaries another thought. God says, He’s got this.
I believe God’s got it because He said so but I am not really sure I am sure. That is why Paul encouraged us to “practice these things.” Very few of us get it the first time around. It requires practice. Take baby steps and with each step our confidence will rise and God’s peace will become apparent.
The result is awesome mental health.
For those unfortunately suffering from mental illness, I am not suggesting walking away from therapy or even your medications. However, I am suggesting as you can try this. Practice thinking about the good things in your life. Think about the lovely, pleasant things that make you feel good as often as you can. I believe it will only help you get better faster.
For those of us who have momentary or mild mental dis-ease, this is a preventive measure. We spend way to much time and energy worrying about things and people we can’t do anything about. We also spend way to much time and energy complaining and doing nothing about the things we can change.
                                    STOP! Trust God and do something instead.
                                                   Think on These Things!