Mind

Mental wellness thoughts

Homemade Apple Butter

by ladypbwiggins

I love homemade apple butter. It brings back warm, loving,memories of hot biscuits on Sunday morning at my grandmother Modear’s  breakfast table. Thinking about it is as comforting as big hugs. Over the years since leaving home, I have not found GOOD apple butter. Some didn’t even have that smooth texture much less the remembered taste. One day I saw a jar in the Polly’s Pies Restaurant. It looked right. I picked it up to give it a try and all the disappointing memories popped up. I decided to try making my own and put it back on the shelf. I searched for a recipe and found it in Fannie Farmer cookbook that I have owned for over 30 years.

I did make a few adjustments. I don’t typically use white sugar but I had about 1/2 cup left from a bag my daughter-in-law bought on her last visit. I supplemented with agave. I also added a red delicious apple to the granny smiths apples. I didn’t simmer until smooth because it took too long. I let it cool about 10 minutes and then put it in the blender. I blended it until smooth, less than a minute.

The results were just as I remembered. Warm, creamy, comforting and safe; all those taste and feelings of Sunday morning breakfast at Modear’s. I made biscuits and it was Hmmmmm good!

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4 lbs tart apples

 ∗I added a real sweet red delicious apple for added sweetness

2 cups cider, cider vinegar or water

∗I used water to cover the apples and 1 c apple cider vinegar

Sugar

 ∗ I used 1/2 c sugar and 1/2 c of agave

Salt

2 tsps cinnamon

1 tsp  ground cloves

1/2 tsp allspice

Grated rind and juice of 1 lemon

  ∗ I used the whole lemon except seeds

Cut the apples into pieces without peeling or coring them. Put them in a pot, cover with the cider, vinegar, or water and cook until soft. Put through a sieve or food mill. Measure. Add 1/2 cup sugar for each cup of apple pulp. The whole mixture, add a dash of salt and the cinnamon, cloves, allspice, and lemon rind and juice. Cook, covered, over low hear until the sugar dissolves, taste and adjust the seasonings. Uncover and cook quickly, stirring constantly to prevent burning, until thick and smooth when a bit is spooned onto a cold plate. Pour into hot, sterilized jars and seal.

Walk With Me Back To Basics

by ladypbwiggins

I have been listening to Christian teachers and pastors. I have been listening to those who have many questions about the belief system they grew up with. I have been listening to non-believers and all of this brought me to a realization. We have focused so much on prosperity that we have forgotten some basics. We have confused onlookers because our behavior shows little difference to that of Wall Street financiers or street thugs. It’s about the money or the bling. Before you get it twisted, I believe God wants to bless us financially but my problem is not with the wealth but our attitude and behavior.

I decided to go back to basics. I decided to study the gospel writers, Matthew, Mark and John who walked with Y’shua; who recorded from different perspectives His teachings. I mean who else can give us insight on what He taught better than Himself.

I began with searching for the answer of a few questions I had.

  1. Exactly how did He get the name Jesus? I knew it wasn’t His given name. He was Israeli after all.
  2. Why did Isaiah prophesy that He would be called Immanuel and then was named something else?
  3. What was His authority that I should listen to Him?

Now I know someone is going to be shocked by that last one. I have no doubt that He has authority but I want to reaffirm from the Word the basis for my belief. That is for you real holy people who don’t need to be introspective sometimes. I am not perfect so I have to check myself.

Over the coming months I will share my findings, especially Y’shua’s teachings for that is my true objective for this study. I know there is more than what we limit ourselves to in the knowledge of our God-designed power, authority and behavior. I invite you to

Walk With Me!

Since October

by ladypbwiggins

Many of you followed my postings last year regarding our journey through my husband’s life scare. I don’t know if I thanked you, so Thank you for your support. I have learned that 2015 was a horrific year for a great many people. I pray that it was a time of spiritual growth for you as it was for us.

To recap

  1. Massive heart attack on March 27, 2015
  2. Stopped breathing and needed electrical shock 3 times before conversion
  3. Months of hospitalization and rehabilitation care centers followed.

During those rehabilitation stays he struggled to regain the use of his legs. So what has happened since the first rehab stay.

  1. He was taken off Mexilitine.He was given that drug to counteract the worst, Amiodarone. Amiodarone was not his friend. It caused severe blood pressure drops and may have been the cause of some of the tachycardia events, however, I can’t prove it. It took awhile but it was finally replaced with a less toxic drug o September 28.  I had to fight but was successful.
  2. We changed cardiologist and that was a great blessing.
  3. He decided to stop taking Atorvastatin and the Qvar. He decided to control his cholesterol with his diet and he said he could breath fine without that inhaler.
  4. Oh, he lost almost 100 lbs over the 10 month period.

Since October

  1. After his last Ventricular tachycardia episode on September 27, a pacemaker/defibrillator was implanted on October 1.
  2. He came home on October 6th using a wheelchair. He had a few attempts with a walker. He has gone from wheelchair to walker to cane. He still needs the walker for long distances but for someone who was not believed to live and then not ever to walk this is awesome.
  3. His memory is improving but his meds are creating some interference. He is overcoming.
  4. We have learned so much about our power and authority when dealing with the medical community. We are empowered and plan to share that knowledge.
  5. We have learned how to eat even better with targeted focus for health reasons, heart and brain.

God planned and provided the best foods for our health,

the slave master changed our diet to the worst because it wasn’t what we ate n Africa,

and now we choose to continue to eat what sickens and is designed to kill us.

Please let’s help each other leave the plantation.

We can make soul food healthy.

Thank you for praying for us and supporting us. We thank you for your continued prayers and support.

In His Love

 

We Bought the Big Lie

by ladypbwiggins

(Note: I wrote this last year before the establishment of the Black Lives Matter Movement. My questions still remain.)

Because it is Black History Month, there are more posts on Facebook sharing our history. We were involved with the advancement of many different industries. We were involved with many different activist’s agendas. But of them all, education was the primary focus. Our people realized education was our key to real freedom.

The first thing taken was education about ourselves. It was unsafe to talk about our African family roots. Many of our ancestors wanted to disassociate themselves from Africa. The focus was getting educated in this new system, new world. Survival was most important. At some point we were made to believe education of any kind was not cool. More black kids dropped out. How did this happen? First the school system doesn’t fulfill the learning style needs of the majority of blacks,  men especially. We, they are not stupid nor do they have learning challenges. it has been shown that they are usually tactile, visual or kinesthetic learners. Our public school system does not cater to those styles. When they did there were fewer drop outs. Suddenly, music and art were removed. Out of the box science experiments were not encouraged. Students of color (euphemism for black) were told to follow a menial career path. You’d make a good janitor some were told. Don’t aspire to be an inventor or something that requires brain power. Somewhere along the way we believed the lie. We once again were only good enough for the most subservient jobs. We allowed ourselves in our anger to miss needed education or skill development to do what we really wanted. We bought the lie. Now we as a people are discouraged, defeated and slave material, again. (Now, it’s called prison)

We bought another lie. Some of us believe because we are educated and have good careers, live in nice neighborhoods and seemed to be accepted, we have different rules than those other blacks. News flash. You are black. The bottom line that is all some people see.You have a greater responsibility than you realize. You have the means and ability to help solve some of these problems. But you think the problems don’t affect you until you realize that store personnel that seem to be so attentive are following you just like they would those other blacks. The cops will stop you in your fancy car. Clearly you stole it. You are black. You bought the lie.

How do we change this? How do we change our thinking and our kids thinking? How do we destroy the prison pipeline en masse? There are groups working hard to do it but we need a national campaign. Something to reach across the nation like Ferguson. Any ideas?

I AM Successful!

by ladypbwiggins

It has been good to reconnect with many of my high school classmates. One of the alums began a page called Dragons Forever and I have enjoyed reading about their lives. It brought back some good memories and some not so good.  I have been thinking about the declaration made by my high school classmates made about me.  You know how the class votes for the Most Talented, the Most Popular, etc. I was voted the Most Likely to Succeed.  I was never sure if they really thought that of me or there was nothing else. Nevertheless, it haunted me for the last 30 years. I don’t possess fame or wealth that you would expect from someone successful. I began a career but after my son’t birth I became a homemaker.I never thought that would be me. I planned a career life, with a family. I didn’t plan for my family to be my career. I devoted my time to homeschooling my kids, taking care of my husband and my home. I was also active in my church and community. I was concerned about black kids, the boys especially in the public school system.  (That is another blog post.)  As my kids needed me less the thoughts of “The Most Likely to Succeed” periodically popped up and in those moments I felt like a failure. I had not succeeded. I am not famous and I am not wealthy, not even well to do. We are living a servant’s life. It has been a very blessed choice but no fame or fortune.

Many of you know this has been a very trying year. I have faced death several times through my husband. I have had hours in the hospital and rehab rooms to reflect on my life. I discovered that I was very wealthy. I had sisters, birth and spiritual that supported me; that loved me.  I discovered friends that I didn’t know I had. Our spiritual children stepped up in ways unexpected. Their actions expressed real love for us. Most of all, those children I gave birth to and those I chose to mother, love me and sometimes they even like me.  My children are pursuing their dreams and taking care o their families. They love learning. They love helping the underdog. They love giving of themselves.  I believe my husband and I had a little to do with those attitudes. Finally, I have a husband who truly loves me as I am. So while I am not the success we dreamed of those years so long ago, I can say I am wealthy beyond measure.

I am successful.

Changed!

by ladypbwiggins

The last 7 months have been a life changing experience. It has not only changed Carl and I, but you. Yes, you. Who are You?   “You” live in three groups.

Group 1

You who

  1.  Walked with us through this fire journey with us.
  2. Believed God in spite of what you saw.

Group 2

You who

  1. Prayed but lacked faith that they would be answered.
  2. Thought I had lost my mind and all sense of reasoning but stood with me anyway.

Group 3

You who

  1. Watched on the sidelines
  2. Thought Group 1 and 2 were crazy but hoped we were right.

How have you changed? I don’t know but you do.

I suspect whatever group you are in, your faith in God has increased.

I suspect you believe the impossible is more possible than you did before.

You are permanently changed!

The Doctors Said

by ladypbwiggins

The Doctors said he wouldn’t live. He did.

The Doctors said he wouldn’t remember. He does, more everyday.

The Doctors said he wouldn’t walk again. He is, farther everyday.

The Doctors said….

Don’t get me wrong. Doctors have their usefulness. However, they are not the last word.

Whose report will you believe? The Doctors’ or God’s.

When Passion Dies

by ladypbwiggins

When Passion Dies

A loss

Your self Missing

In Action

Like arid desert roaming

One drop mirage to satisfy.

Interest, joy, purpose

locked away in the dark vault of

Not forgotten.

When Passion dies

Dreams die

Don’t let your Dreams die.

Fulfill them..

Scared!

by ladypbwiggins

Sometimes you just need to refocus. Being really scared can cause you to do that.

Carl awakened in pain from the neuropathy in his legs. Then I realized he was perspiring like a running water faucet and cold to the touch at the same time. This is usually an indication that his blood pressure has dropped too low. I put pillows under his legs to raise them. He asked for a wet wash cloth to wipe his face and neck. That was good. He was conscious and communicating. He wanted to be on his side, then his stomach and then his back all in a matter of minutes. Then he told me he was dizzy and nauseous and thought he might vomit. I went to get a container for that and he began to dry heave. I was SCARED. I asked him if I should call 911. He said he didn’t know and then I got a feeling that I should wait. I called out to God and reminded Him of the promise he gave me in Psalm 91.  One of which was when I called out that He would answer. Carl began to settle down but still had pains in his leg and nausea. I continued to pray and then I felt God instructing me to read Mark 4. I began to read and wondered why He pointed me to the parable of the sower.  I continued to read. Next came the account of the disciples being afraid that they would drown in the storm. After Jesus calmed the storm He said to them,

Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?

That was it. That is why I had to read Mark 4. Throughout this whole ordeal, our storm, I have been learning to put my trust in what God said and not the circumstances that I see. I guess I got so comfortable in where I was that I didn’t realize I was slipping back into trusting what I saw. So the Father had to SCARE me back to FAITH; Faith in Him and what He said He would do. I have been refocused. Focused on what God promised rather than what I see happening in the healing process.

By the way, there are good things happening. The doctor’s have removed a very toxic drug called Amioderone. The side affects can cause extremely life threatening damage. It is the major contributor to the neuropathy. Since its removal, Carl is getting stronger and is standing with very little assistance. I am optimistic that he may be trying to walk by next week if not sooner. He said he feels like he is coming out of the mental fog. All these positives are the reasons I was so scared this morning.

So I say to you don’t lose focus. Keep your eyes on the promise that God has given you no matter what else may be happening. God’s course correction is not fun. Don’t give Him cause to Scare you back to Faith.

The Next Phase To Complete Healing

by ladypbwiggins

This post was written earlier but it an integral part of the journey, so rather than update it timewise, I decided to post it as is. I will follow with an update to some things mentioned.

It has been a very educationally journey that I and my family have been on since my husband’s heart attack in March. He finally came home from rehabilitation on Friday. He has improved so much but we still have a ways to go to reach complete restoration. Several things have come to my attention that will be included in this next phase. I discovered Dr. Steven Masley’ 30-day Heart Tune-Up. This is an eating plan which focuses on heart strengthening. I have also discovered or at least it has been confirmed that we should really pay attention to the drugs that are being prescribed for us and our loved ones.

The Tune Up

We began the 30 day journey on Saturday August 1. I had to make some adjustments because we do not eat chicken, beef or pork. Today the Chicken Stir Fry was made with tofu. The dish was quite tasty.  Just in these two days I feel better. I have also noticed the pain from my husband’s neuropathy has decreased. I will be watching that because I was told neuropathy cannot be cured and that nerve regeneration was not possible. This side effect to the eating plan is welcomed but the jury is still out on the lasting effectiveness.

Drug Fight

I will be making appointments to visit Carl’s doctors on Monday. Our discussions will center around the drug Amioderone and Warfarin initially. Amioderone has some very serious side affects that are counterproductive to his healing. Waffarin is rat poison. Need I say more?

Stay tuned