Month: July 2021

Observe, Ask, Listen!

by ladypbwiggins

I am a girl. I am a female. I am 100% woman. Societal stereotypes say there are certain things you are safe buying or doing for me because am a woman. What color is do people buy baby girls? Pink. Why can’t she have blue? What color are clothes bought for little girls? Pink. Why not green? As the little girl grows she may tell you what she likes but if she isn’t asked it will be assumed it’s pink. It doesn’t change much when she grows up. When a man doesn’t know his woman’s favorite color, pink is assumed to be safe. This is simply because she is female. Now layer my ethnic culture on that. Just because I am Black there are certain things that I absolutely prefer according to the stereotypes. Women don’t all like the same thing and no one thing clearly describe us. If that were so, the clothing, jewelry, cosmetic, hair and shoe industries would not exist. Understanding what I am about to say is crucial for some relationships. It is believed women are difficult to understand. We are not. There is a very simple method to understand us. Obseve and Ask.

So to those who have not understood, I will use me as an example. I don’t prefer pink or diamonds. I don’t like pastels. I am a bold color concentrated person. But I don’t prefer the bold winter colors. I prefer the fall colors found in nature. The stereotype would have me in ruffles. You know, frilly, girly stuff. I like clean lines and texture. When I drank liquor, I was a scotch, dry martini person. My sweetest drink was a margarita. My husband knew all these things before we were married. In the course of us developing a friendship he observed, asked and listened. When it became important to know he did. He could even choose clothes and jewelry for me with a high degree of certainty that I would like them.

I guess you’re asking “why is she telling us all this?” For those who didn’t get the memo, we are not all the same. Allow us to be collectively individual. We have individual taste. Yes there may be similarities but we have some differences. Give us room and stop trying to put us in your box. If you’re not sure what your woman likes, ASK! Then listen.There will be fewer misunderstandings. That has worked for my husband for 44 years. Oh and just so you know, if you are in a relationship or trying to develop one, don’t assume this woman likes something just because the last one did. Observe and ASK! Listen! Don’t ask the day before her birthday or your anniversary. Pay attention when your just having conversation and get those questions in there if she’s important to you. She will appreciate your wanting to know.

Remember Observe and Ask. Listen. Don’t Assume.

The Universe….?

by ladypbwiggins

When people say the Universe will do it or The Universe caused it or any other action ascribed to the Universe, who or what are they talking about? I checked the definition of the Universe. What I found was what I understood it to be.

The universe (Latin: universus) is all of space and time and their contents, including planets, stars, galaxies, and all other forms of matter and energy. … At the largest scale, galaxies are distributed uniformly and the same in all directions, meaning that the universe has neither an edge nor a center.

So are the people who attribute these supernatural actions to the Universe saying the planets, stars or galaxies are performing these acts? Do inanimate objects have the capacity to think, plan and act? Or are the planets etc animate? Can they create life?Do the planets have this power? Have space and time and all its contents given us the capacity to think, love or feel? I just dont understand. Can someone help me understand?

As I looked at the different definition sources I saw that someone asked the question “Who created the Universe?” The answer that was given was one word, God. I have observed many of those giving the aforementioned attributions to the Universe do not believe in God or they believe there is a Supreme creator but not any God of any known religion. For those who don’t believe in God, they have given God-like abilities or attributes to the Universe. Is the Universe God to them? I’m confused. It seems some God-like something that is beyond or outside of themselves is needed. Something that satisfies an innate spiritual hole. It seems the creation is acknowledged or accepted but the creator (God) is denied. In my logical mind this is totally illogical. Will someone help me please?

I know someone is asking how do you know there is a God. Who created Him and how do you know He is a He? My answer is how do you know the Universe did it, or said it or gave it? Whether it is Jehovah, Yeshua, Allah or any other named diety, there is some belief system that can be held on to and reasoned. Like many liberal arts college students, I analyzed these belief systems. I asked questions and looked at the documents that described or explained their foundation. I almost converted to Judaism. I liked that their beliefs were lived daily and not just on Sunday or special days. It was a lifestyle. Eventually I remainded with my Judeo-Christian belief system. I realized I could have what I loved in Judaism with the less legalistic stance of 1st Century Christianity. I won’t go into the reasons but I am happy with my decision. It is now my lifetyle. FYI this is not the Western European version of Christianity that we see today.

Back to the Universe. I am seriously asking for understanding not a fight.

Beginning Anew Again

by ladypbwiggins

Over our 44 years of marriage we have started over several times. We changed avocations, we’ve made geographic changes and we have made dietary lifestyle changes. All of these changes caused something to begin again; Start over. In the last 3 years we have moved to a new state, moved back into apartment living and become vegans.

I am the primary caregiver for my husband. At one point I became physically challenged myself. People told me I looked and sounded tired. I couldn’t see it. When you do what you have to do you don’t think about it. I had chest pains and went to the hospital. All my test were normal. Thankfully it was just stress and I had an overnight stay and rest. That’s when I realized how tired I was. Everyone said rest but figuring out how to rest created more stress. And then Covid 19 dilema arrived. I didn’t get the virus but months of isolation caused depression to sneak in. Just what I needed, a mental health issue. Another thing to battle. I was getting a handle on that and then the Houston deep freeze. Thirty-six hours of no power and below freezing temperature just added to the stress. We stayed in bed for 30+ hours. I only arose to prepare food. Good thing we knew how to eat raw vegan. Oh yeah and to use the bathroom. You would think that was a good time to get some rest but it wasn’t. We were fully dressed in sweats and beanies under several heavy blankets. I felt buried alive but it was necessary. We were still cold. One night it was 9 degrees outside and it felt like all of that inside. So tell me how do you rest from that. I feel like I aged over this last year. My body hurt in places it hasn’t before. Recovery made it very clear that our 2nd floor living must come to an end.

The search began for a first floor, one level home. Change One. Change Two. During the pandemic I gained weight. I miss my size 12 and I plan to begin our dominantly raw vegan lifestyle again. At least that’s the plan. I know many aches and pains will be diminished or eliminated. I will see my size 12 again this year. Change Three. I am resuming my hobbies because I need the outlet. I had put them aside for a while but I have to begin again.

Back to Change One. We moved into that 1st floor home. Love it but it is taking longer to unpact because my bosy is still recovering. Change Two is proving more difficult than I thought. We are eating raw sometimes but the consistency is proving to be hard. Hence, I don’t know when I will see my size 12 but at least I haven’t gained more. Hobbies are still on hold.

Still beginning again but still moving forward. We have begun again and it is exciting. Always new. Beginning again brings new and exciting experiences.

Well, here I am two months after the move. I have spent the time trying to get adjusted: unpacking and organizing. I have not completely gone raw vegan or begun my hobbies but I am moving in that direction. My mental health has improved thanks to my kids and grandkids. They have blessed us immeasureably. I have so much for which to be thankful. So inspite of quarantine, deep freeze and body pain beginning again has been a blessing.

Contagious

by ladypbwiggins

44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, Matthew 5:44 NKJV https://bible.com/bible/114/mat.5.44.NKJV

I have come to realize this is what I have been learning for the last 5 years. Inspite of their behavior, I must act like Yeshua. There are people who have told me that I am not a Christian or a real American because I don’t support Trump. I have been called names, basically cursed bcause I am not a Republican. They don’t know if I am a Democrat, Independent or Undeclared but because of how I look they have decided. How do I bless them?

This is one of the hardest things I have had to learn. Just like most other people I don’t partiularly want to show love much less acually love those who hurt me or threathen me. How do I love KKK members knowing what their stance is toward people who look like me? How do I love people who are determined to destroy me psychologically and emotionally? How do I love policemen who are inclined to kill my son and daughter just becasue of their skin color? Then there are my grandsons. Some are old enough to be targets just because they walked out of their house. One is a former marine. He was willing to give his life for a group of people who have decided he is a criminal just because of his skin color. This is one of my realities. Then there are those I have trusted. They said they loved me and as long as I agreed with them or did what they wanted they acted like it. But as soon as I stepped out of my place as they defined it, I was no longer loveable. I was the enemy. I want to follow Yeshua’s teachings to love my enemies but it is so hard.

I thought I had forgiven and gotten over the hurt from the ones I trusted but looking at myself through the lens of loving my enemies, it seems I haven’t. I don’t hate them but I discovered resentment and hurt are still present to some degree. How can I truly love them if those feelings are present. I believe pure love would not be resentful and would have forgiven. Remembrance would not have hurt attached. How can I love those who admit that they hate me when I can’t completely love those who have committd comparably lesser offenses? Lastly, how do I pray for those who spitefully use me?

I have a ways to go. This growing in the image of God is a neverending, involved process. I know I haven’t grown to say Father forgive them as they nail railroad spikes in my hands but maybe I can love them through hateful words and degrading actions. I am trying.

How are you handling this commandment?

Can you pray for them?

Can you do good to them?

Can you forgive them?

Can you LOVE them?